© 2018 Dr Margaret Sheppard

There are two types of Weddings - The Setswana wedding and the Sekgoa (English) Wedding. If it is a Setswana Wedding the feast at the bride’s home may well follow on from the Presentation of the Bogadi

Go kopa segametsi - to ask for one who will fetch water

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At about 1.30-2.00 p.m. the married women from the groom's family arrive to "Go kopa segametsi" - to ask for one who will fetch water. It is called this because in the future the bride will be helping her mother-in-law to fetch water. These women arrive at the bride's Kgotla in a procession in single file. They will all be wearing their best clothes and all wear head scarves, with lightweight blankets around their shoulders. If they come from a long way away they might be brought in a lorry, on the back of a tractor, or even in an ox wagon.

On arrival at the lolwapa~ the Malome's wife will say: "Ke a nyorilwe, re batla segametsi." (I am thirsty, we need one who will fetch water.) The bride will then bring the Malome's wife some water in a glass. Then she serves all the other women from the groom’s family with water. (At one ceremony I observed , the bride brought them traditional beer that had been specially brewed for the wedding)..

During this part of the marriage only happily married women may take part; no divorcees, newly widowed (i.e. those still dressed in black), suspected sorcerers or those who have quarrels with their husbands, are invited to attend this part. Throughout the wedding people in these categories and unmarried people are not allowed to enter the lolwapa where the married women sit.

Towards sunset the women from the groom's family return in procession to his home, singing traditional wedding songs as they go. This procession is no doubt assisted by the traditional beer that has been consumed - the singing being very loud and joyful! If they came by tractor or ox wagon, they rejoin it at the edge of the kgotla.

The wife of the groom’s Malome leads them into the bride’s Kgotla. They sing all the way.

The groom’s female relatives being transported to the edge of bride’s Kgotla by tractor.

The rest of the afternoon is spent in eating and drinking the wedding feast. This is served by the younger unmarried relatives and friends of the bride, to the visitors who have come from the groom's home and to the senior relatives of the bride.  By now the men from both the bride’s and groom’s family sit in the Kgotla where they are served food.

It should be noted that the parents of the couple do not play a prominent part in the marriage and they do not, for instance, go up to the Chief's Kgotla, nor do the mothers go with the other women in the processions to the homes of the in-laws.