© 2018 Dr Margaret Sheppard

At the end of the period of seclusion the mother and baby should have both grown fat, and are also usually very light-skinned from spending much of the day inside, both of these attributes are considered very beautiful. A day is chosen and a feast usually called a Botsetsi party is held. The walls of the malwapa in the yard will have been newly decorated with coloured muds. Traditional sorghum beer is brewed, and a beast is slaughtered for the mother and baby (in rich families it might even be a bovine beast), salads, samp, rice etc., are cooked. The maternal and paternal relatives of the baby are invited, also friends and neighbours. On this day the mother and baby are cleansed and doctored by being ritually “washed” by a traditional doctor.

The mother and baby are both dressed in smart new clothes bought by the baby's father. Both the mother and baby are on show to, and much praised by, all those present, and the baby is passed around for admiration. Guests give presents to the mother and baby. These gifts are all carefully recorded by a person chosen to be responsible during the Botsetsi Party for receiving and recording the gifts and donors in a notebook. These gifts commonly consist of money (5t to several pula), glassware, crockery or baby clothes. Men are as customary, responsible for slaughtering and cooking the meat. This they do in the kraal of the family kgotla. The female relatives brew the beer and prepare the rest of the food. Women usually also serve the guests with the plates of food already dished out.

"Important" guests are seated at tables, and others will sit on the ground and eat around the lolwapa and yard. The "most important" are given the "full menu", but even casual passers-by will probably be served with whatever is available such as fat cakes (a kind of doughnut) or samp (crushed maize) or sorghum or maize porridge. As with all feasts, Badimo (the ancestors) are believed to be present. They are believed to be attracted by the spilling of blood when the beast was slaughtered, as they like company and rejoicing, this may also be seen as a feast to thank the Badimo for looking after the mother and baby during the dangerous first months of the baby's life, and protecting the mother and baby from harm.

On this day there is much rejoicing, and as people become merry with beer there may even be singing and dancing. From this day the baby is known by its name. Traditionally the maternal relatives would call it by a name chosen by them and the paternal relatives by their chosen name. Most Tswana names have meanings, and children are commonly named after ancestors or important events, or as thanks, or as a wish for success for a child in its future life. Examples of common names: Mmatlalepula - she comes with the Rain (for a child born during the Rain), Kelebogile - Thanks, Kelebetse I have forgotten (e.g. if there had been a family death or misfortune before the child's birth), Ofentse - Victory (e.g. children born at the end of the war etc), Khumoetsile - Wealth has come (in the sense of a girl who will hopefully bring bridewealth).

Preparing for the Botsetsi Party - the women cook and the men slaughter the beast, cook the meat in the kgotla and gather the wood needed for the cooking fires.

The mother and baby dress in new clothes provided by the father.

The baby is passed around for admiration.

Guests are served with the Botstsi Feast and drink the specially brewed sorghum beer. Everyone is well fed and happy which in turn pleases the Ancestors who will then hopefully continue to provide their protection

Guests make gifts to the baby - glasses, crockery, money etc. This is all carefully recorded in a notebook by a specially appointed relative.

From this day onwards, the mother now resumes her normal duties, but continues to avoid at first the heavier kind of household work, such as heavy digging.

If a married mother and baby were being secluded at the maternal home, then usually about a week after the Botsetsi Party she will be returned with the baby, by her parents, to her husband's home. Traditionally they would be taken there by ox wagon or donkey cart, the mother and baby being dressed in their best clothes, and of course ideally they should both look fat and light-skinned. On arrival, they will be served with food, and probably traditional beer will also have been brewed. This is in gratitude to the baby's maternal relatives for caring for it and its mother.

Mother and baby are taken to the father’s home about a week after the Botsetsi Party by the maternal kin. At the father’s home another refreshments are served to thank the maternal kin for caring for the mother and baby and also to welcome the baby to its father’s home.

Botsetsi Party - marking end of seclusion